watt|not

Freelance

2010-08-23T12:53:00-05:00

I'm now available for freelance software development and web design!

My areas of expertise include Windows and Mac applications, as well as modern web sites targeted at both desktop and mobile users. I'm a “full stack” developer with the ability to take a project from concept to completion autonomously. Most importantly, I'm passionate about what I do.

For more details on my skills and background, check out my CV. References are available on request.

Got a project you've been sitting on because you need a programmer or designer (or both) to flesh it out? Shoot me an email at andrew@wattornot.com.

Flash Rocks

2010-02-04T03:15:00-06:00

Was thinking about Flash. Then I made this thing.

Inspired by this piece by Steven Frank.

For Sale: Zombie Costume

2009-10-11T19:58:00-05:00

Details regarding the zombie costume I made and wore in 2008.

Read in full

Star Wars or Middle Eastern Cuisine?

2009-09-25T14:08:00-05:00

I recently posed this question in a series of tweets. And now, the answers!

Round 1: Tahini

Middle Eastern cuisine. This is the one that prompted the whole idea, because it reminded me of that thing Jawas always say. My hummus turned out pretty good, but is too garlicky.

Round 2: Fambaa

Star Wars. I tried to stick to things that appeared in the movies at first.

Round 3: Obi-Non

Middle Eastern cuisine. Chosen for obvious reasons.

Round 7: Amanaman

Star Wars. The only original trilogy item in this list (although I'm sure there are plenty of good candidates).

Round 8: Za'atar

Middle Eastern cuisine. I thought for sure I could fool some people with the apostrophe. This stuff looks like it should be in Star Wars too.

Round 9: Yo'gand

Star Wars. Reaching into the “extended universe” now.

Round 10: Khomm

Star Wars.

So how did you do?

Drobo on the Case

2009-06-16T23:01:59-05:00

If you’re a long time reader (hi Mom!) you know that long before Man vs. Internet was born, Adam and I used to make short videos under the name Last Minute Productions. We haven’t done any in a long time, and I don’t think the old ones are still online anywhere.

But recently I saw that Drobo was having a short video contest. I've been eyeing Drobo for a while, so I figured this was the perfect time to get the band back together. I made a trail of beer and porn to lure Adam out of his cave, and then convinced him to help me make an entry.

This is the result!

Thanks to both Adam and Jenna for helping me out on short notice. If we win, maybe I’ll put together a longer cut, or release some outtakes or something.

The Takahashi Effect

2009-02-20T12:19:00-06:00

In 2005 I bought a used PlayStation 2 for $80 in order to play Katamari Damacy, which cost $20. (It was an excellent purchase.)

Now Katamari-creator Keita Takahashi’s new game Noby Noby Boy is out, and I wish I had a PS3 to play it on. PS3 consoles run about $400; Noby Noby Boy is $5.

Extrapolating from this trend, I predict that in 2013 I will be saving up to buy a PlayStation 4 for $2000 in order to play a Takahashi game that costs $1.25.

The Sound of My Own Voice

2009-02-15T11:28:00-06:00

In late 2007 my friend Adam and I began to dabble in podcasting. And lo, Man vs. Internet was born.

We had ambitious plans, but unfortunately neither of us could commit the time and energy necessary to keep a video podcast going. After squeaking out 5 episodes, we ran out of steam.

But this project didn’t die there. Around December of last year, I started to get that narcissistic itch again, so I ~~tricked~~ asked Dan if he'd be interested in coming onboard and helping me do some audio episodes.

I was planning on waiting until we had a couple more episodes out before announcing it, but it seems like everyone I was going to tell already knows, so I might as well make it official now. Man vs. Internet has relaunched!

Being essentially a vanity project, we talk about whatever we want, but our topics usually relate to interesting things we've found on the internet, or funny ideas that are too long to post on Twitter.

You can check us out at manvsinternet.com to listen and read show notes, and once you've discovered what a delight we are, you can subscribe in iTunes or directly.

Adventures in Customer Service

2009-02-11T21:01:00-06:00

In which Nalgene customer service toys with my emotions.

Read in full

Duck Jokes

2009-02-06T22:15:00-06:00

There are not many things that will cause me to get out of bed on a Saturday morning in January and drive out into the barren tundra of rural Nebraska. But it looks like “duck race” can now be added to the list.

I found out on Friday night that a friend of mine who likes to dabble in animal husbandry had raised some ducks and was going to compete in the Avoca Quack-Off. The Quack-Off takes place in Avoca, Nebraska each year, and supposedly draws about 1000 people. With 86 preliminary heats of up to 4 ducks, there had to have been well over 300 ducks present as well. To put some perspective on those numbers, the town’s population is only about 250.

The proceeds from the event went to the local volunteer fire department, but I'm sure the real profiteer was the local bar, which was absolutely packed all day. There’s no place to buy off-sale liquor in town, but enough people brought their own that by mid-afternoon the whole town was littered with beer cans.

I should probably qualify that this was a duck foot race. The ducks were disqualified if they took flight (which I saw happen once) and there was not enough water on the course for them to swim. Personally, if I were designing a duck race course, I would exploit the creatures' natural talents in a water-air-ground triathlon of sorts. Maybe a steeplechase. But, apparently Avoca does not share my dreams. My dreams might also involve training ducks to ride cute little bicycles, so this is not really surprising.

I was hoping to live-tweet the event, but as usual, AT&T’s coverage failed me. In lieu of that, here are several points that surprised me about the Quack-Off:

The standard for clever duck names was quite high. I wish I had been able to secure a list of all the entries. Without one, I can only remember a few names, and they’re really not worth posting.
There was apparently no censorship for duck names. The race announcer would apparently read any text put in front of her, Ron-Burgundy-style. People took advantage of this and gave their ducks names like “Clusterduck.”
There were at least 6 buses parked in town. Who takes a party bus to a duck race? The answer is, of course:
College kids. The mean age must have been in the 20s. Probably the closest I've ever been to a Spring Break event.

I did manage to take some crappy photos, and they are on Flickr.

While the duck my friend raced personally (Jumpin' Quack Flash) didn’t do well, another one he raised received second place. Better luck next year, Phil!

The History of Laziness

2009-02-06T17:13:00-06:00

Well, I caved in and finally wrote my own blogging software. Looking back at the experience now, I would put “does exactly what I want it to do” in the PRO column, and “takes forever to make” under CONs.

There are a couple of things you should probably know if you are a current reader.

I am now link-logging/link-blogging/link-clogging/whatever you want to call it here. I've imported all my old notes from Pownce as a start. You can find them under Notes.
There are three feeds. One for articles, one for notes, and one for both. If you were previously subscribed to my blog, you’re now on the combo feed.
Commenting is gone. If you want to contact me regarding an article, email me.